Feb 24, 2011

Kids.Woot.

My friend Kristine had me read this the other day.  It's from Kids.Woot, which is an online "daily deal" type site.  The "daily deal" was a Cranky the Crane train set, which really isn't that important to know in this whole bit.

Bobby, why don’t you put those toys down and come here for a second. Daddy would like to have a little talk with you.That’s a good boy. How are you doing today, buddy? Pretty good? That’s great, really great. And I bet you’re pretty excited about your birthday coming up, aren’t you? How long have you been with us now? Your mother and I, I mean. Almost 4 years! That’s quite a while to go without a self-evaluation, isn’t it?  Don’t be confused. It’s just that, as your Growth and Development Manager, I think it’s important that you and I take just a little bit of time every year or so to, you know, reflect on your past twelve months as a member of our “team”, don’t you? This way, your mother and I can better understand and not just praise your accomplishments, but also discuss areas in which you may need a little… improvement.
For example, what would you say your strengths are? Roaring like a dragon, eh? Let’s put that down under “Thinks Big”. Anything else? Running really fast around corners? Hmmm. I suppose we can put that under “Risk-Taking”. Your refusal to clean you plate at suppertime definitely shows your commitment to your convictions. That’s a bonus.
And how do you feel about your playroom? Do you feel like we’ve created a space in which you would like to stay and perhaps advance, or do you find it boring and stagnant? Oh, good! And what about your toys? Let’s take this Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway Deluxe Sights & Sounds Cranky the Crane, for example. Do you feel like the various lights and sounds engage you enough? And how do you feel about Cranky’s working relationship with the other engines in the Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway series? Does he tease them too much? And, one last question, how easy is it to use the up and down arrows to control his crane? Very nice. Excellent to hear.
Okay, Bobby, I think this has been quite productive, don’t you? Yes, yes, you can go have a cookie in just a minute. I just need you to do one last thing for me. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your mother’s ability as a caretaker? And don’t worry. This is all completely anonymous. Your answer will stay just between you and me.

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